Tuesday 17 March 2009

Buddhist calm...

We learnt a bit about Buddhism our travels, the importance of calm, meditation, reflection. I even bought a book on it.I vowed to return to the UK a more peaceful, patient person. Anyone who knows me will know that there is more chance of me getting a job as a brain surgeon than there is of me becoming all 'zen' and spending hours in the lotus position. 'Chilled' is just not a word you could associate with my character. I'm fast-speaking, hyper and highly strung - in fact a colleague even asked me with wide-eyed innocence if I was on speed at work once, such was my superhero-style energy. My motto has always been, 'if a job's worth doing, it's worth doing quick.' I just can't help it. It's like a form of ADHD - I've got ants in my pants. I'm trying to psych myself up: I know that IVF is a melon-twister (or a head-f*** to put it bluntly).
'Patience is a virtue,' I repeat to myself, having waited for a response to the doc's fax for 2 weeks now. Since IVF is a long and in-depth process, I'd better get used to all this waiting. I'm strung out already and it's nowhere near the start point yet. This is gonna twist my melon alright...

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